How Fucking Dare You?

You made me happy
made me scared
get your fingers outta' my hair.
I hate the way I want to be
I hate the way we've been.
I loved the way you looked at me
the days of sleeping in.
But I refuse to be your call girl
at six o'clock a.m.
Go knock on someone else's window
and see if they will let you in.

in a moment many things

If we could live in moments
only the ones we chose
I would choose to smell your pillow on my bed
and to see your smile for the first time.
I would take your picture.
I would laugh at your jokes.
I would watch you gesture grandly
and meet you off the train.
Infatuation, call it what you will
but if I could live in moments;
I would choose yours here with me
and keep my heart there still.

Come hither here at dusk

My room doth smell of sex my love
of blessed evenings be
Come hither here at dusk my love
come here and lay with me.
Speak the speech of longing
of ever more; of we
of feelings; of sensations
of flesh: of giving sweet.

For a fling, a friend, and a downward spiral

I like the way you look at me

with your eyes deep and dark.

I like the way you softly command

and laugh with me.

I think it's cute when you stumble,

and show a little vulnerability.

I think it's hot when you bite your lower lip

in the middle of a story.

I like the way you smoke your cigarettes,

and the funny thing you do with you tongue.

I like the fact that you're so manly

yet at heart you're still so young.

I like it that you can sing along

with all of my cd's.

I like it that you beckon

"come lay with me and read me poetry".

I like the way you take your coffee,

and the haphazard way you drive when you are lost,

I love how you take claim to being "artistic"

and the way your eyes sparkle after dusk.

Another ending

I'm having a really tough night right now.
I just was telling schmoops, how somehow I feel like I'm not good enough some how.
I don't understand.
How can all these jackasses and girls with half a brain have "relationships"?
Supposedly I'm smart, and funny, and talented, and beautiful according to all these people that know me, and yet, somehow I'm not enough.
I don't get it.
What is it?
I don't want to be the "feel sorry for me emo girl" either.
I'm just genuinely wondering what it is about me that isn't enough for these guys.
Maybe I'll never know.
Maybe someday I will.
It's hard to tell now, but I feel like I'll never find anyone that wants me fully.
Plenty of guys (and girls for that matter) want to "be with" me, but no one wants to commit to me. Why?
I have such great passion inside of me.
I feel like for the past year and a half (at least) I've been doing nothing but being repeatedly punched in the heart.
I guess there's not much I can do.
I don't know.
That's the worst part: not knowing. If I only knew I would do something to remedy, but I can't figure it out.
I have nothing left to write right now, so I guess it's just another end.

A failed audition...

All the world's a stage
and this acting heart
chose to perform for you.
In the hope of hearing
thunderous applause
in the form of kisses.
I'll wait in the wings
I'll sit in the dark,
I'll watch and wonder
when we will get to do
our scene together again.

Feelings, flashes, fire, and smoke

Isn't it funny, how things you never thought you would get over,
can so quickly fade into the background?
Things you thought would hurt forever,
can vanish in an instant.
Nothing is final.
No door is closed without an open window.
No feeling is forever, unless you want it to be.
Sometimes we learn by being burned.
Sometimes we don't.
It's taken me a long time...
but I think I'm finally done playing with flames.