a pained heart's afternoon rant

I will the tears not to come,

but they do not listen.

I can't help but feel a vast emptiness within myself.

The cavern of where your love has been.

My heart is breaking,

in front of you, and me, and the world.

I feel as though everyone can see it.

As though it's tattooed on my face.

I feel myself desperately grabbing for something, anything

that could fill me again.

I want it back.

I miss my best friend.

I want weekend adventures, and pictures of you doing silly things.

I want my life back.

you...

I want to feel small in your arms,

and mighty with your support.

I feel as though my world is ending,

and there's nothing I can do but stand by and watch.

It's even harder because I'm the one that did it.

I'm the one who cut the final strings.

I hate myself.

I want so badly to feel whole again.

I don't know who I am without you anymore.

The pain will not stop, and neither will the the tears.

I'm exhausted.

I feel like no one understands.

I'm so tired, I just want this to end; for these feelings to go away and leave me alone.

I miss you.

I love you.

I'm sorry...