I'm so afraid of loosing you.
It would be harder than anything that has ever happened.
I'm only so bold, because I know you're not really gone.
This is so scary: loving someone so much.
You're not guaranteed anything. How do you get over that?
I want a guarantee. I want to know.
After this long I feel like I should, and yet...I don't.
I'm so uneasy.
Everything inside of me is racing around like particles in an accelerator, and I know that any minute now....
I'm going to explode.

unexpected afternoon tears

The fact that I love you so much only makes me hate you more.
My stomach is in knots. You're miles away without love induced indigestion, I'm sure.
My heart hurts, and my mind doesn't even know how to kiss it and make it feel better.
You make me feel small.
Constantly I wonder what gives you this ability.
Fairly average in your demeanor and accomplishments, in many ways you pale in comparison to both myself and others that have come before you, and yet somehow I love you more.
I've let you in, fully.
My heart is a house for you. Furnished with love, and sacrifice, acceptance and forgiveness.
Where is my heart home? When will you build this for me?
I'm not sure how much longer I can wait, for I'm starting to get weathered.
I'm starting to get old.
I want to laugh and love with you. I want to be more than our parents have been. I want to have a love so much built on acceptance that nothing can shake us.
Do you?
Do you think on these things?
I don't want to face a life without you.
I'm pleading you to do these small acts for me.
But if you will not... I cannot stay.
I cannot keep my mind with you, if yours is not keeping it company.
I'm breaking apart, and down, like a crumbling brick wall, and the worst part about it is I'm not even sure if you've noticed.

break me

take from some season
write new lines.
Brink merry muse:
beautiful sorry boy
break me under
your perfect drunk lips.

My eyes love to look into yours
and see what they can find.
They beg me to stay longer,
but I can't always find the time.
My heart begs me to press myself to you
so that she might speak to yours.
She says your heart sings her songs,
and that such fluttering she adores.
My arms beg me to be around you
they say to never let you go.
I tell them we have obligations
but to my resistance they beg "no!".
My tongue begs me to kiss you.
So that she might embrace
the moments she spends dancing
with your tongue, so sweet a taste.
My body is rebelling,
it will not let me be.
It longs, and begs,
and pleads with me,
I cannot suppress,
so hurry home, and kiss me
and lay with my hands caress.

How Fucking Dare You?

You made me happy
made me scared
get your fingers outta' my hair.
I hate the way I want to be
I hate the way we've been.
I loved the way you looked at me
the days of sleeping in.
But I refuse to be your call girl
at six o'clock a.m.
Go knock on someone else's window
and see if they will let you in.

in a moment many things

If we could live in moments
only the ones we chose
I would choose to smell your pillow on my bed
and to see your smile for the first time.
I would take your picture.
I would laugh at your jokes.
I would watch you gesture grandly
and meet you off the train.
Infatuation, call it what you will
but if I could live in moments;
I would choose yours here with me
and keep my heart there still.

Come hither here at dusk

My room doth smell of sex my love
of blessed evenings be
Come hither here at dusk my love
come here and lay with me.
Speak the speech of longing
of ever more; of we
of feelings; of sensations
of flesh: of giving sweet.